He chose ME!

I used to sit and wonder "Why me, God?" and I now really think, "Why not me?". How awesome is it that God is using me to show just how great He is to others around me? I LOVE that about Him! Through all of the despair, hurt, anger, frustration and pain, HE has never left me! He was there all along and I give Him the praise! I'm thankful that He chose me to serve Him in this way and I'm so thankful for the person he has been slowly molding me to be! It's amazing to really think that we have been trying to start a family for 4 years now! Time sure has flown by!

My sister (in-law, we usually just leave that part out!) shared this verse with me and I know God gave it to her, but I think he also gave it to her to share with me (confused yet?? lol!)

Psalms 40:1-3
¹ I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
      and he turned to me and heard my cry.
 ² He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
      out of the mud and the mire.
   He set my feet on solid ground
      and steadied me as I walked along.
 ³ He has given me a new song to sing,
      a hymn of praise to our God.
   Many will see what he has done and be amazed.      They will put their trust in the Lord.

How great is this? I have waited 4 years for an answer from Him and just when I thought we'd never receive one, and I was beginning to become content with the fact that having children of my own may just not be God's will from me. However, He offered his mercy, once again and gave us an answer! I know we still have a long road ahead, but with Him on my side, what can go wrong? I have not stressed about the future and I know that it lies in His hands! As he clearly states:

Matthew 6:34 (New Living Translation)

 ³⁴ “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

I pray that God will continue to use me to show others His love and His grace and that they will come to know Him!

Well, that's all I really need to say today (shocking, I know!) I pray that you all have a safe and happy New Year! Please continue to keep us in your prayers! I know they are working! Love you all!

Childhood Toys

SO, since Christmas is right around the corner and alll the kiddos are asking for the latest video games and toys, I wanted to share some of my favorite toys of my childhood era! =) Enjoy!

Oh, how about this little gem for starts? I remember seeing how easy it looked to bake all these goodies! Instead it took like 30 minutes to bake one little bitty cake with that lightbulb! It was fun playing with the machine after a few times but it quickly went into the garage sale! And at $4 a mix? No way!



Ooh! Does he love me? "All signs point to yes!" Alright!!!!!



No, this isn't a creepy doll! This is Baby Alive!!! Remember? You mix the food packets and push on her chin and her mouth moves up and down and you feed her and give her the bottle of water only! Then she will become wet and dirty! Eww! Every once in a while, you'd have to flush hot water down her pipes to clean her out because she was clogged up! Maybe she needed Ex-Lax instead?



Barbie was the queen in my room! I had more Barbies than anyone can imagine! I had a dream house, a super mini-van, 2 jeeps, a convertable and two bikes! And don't count out the classroom, vet office and pool, too! I had cases of clothes and shoes, all organized, of course! I loved Barbie! She was my all time favorite doll, and believe me, if we have a daughter, welp, she's getting Barbies, too! =) Oh, and if you don't beleive me, mom has all of my old Barbies! I even have this 80's one shown! =)



I'm not sure how many of you were into these things like me, but mannnnnn did I have a lot! When Movie Stop was open back in the day I remember going in there and stocking up on them! Then we'd play for keeps at school! FUNN! Yep! Mom still has all of these too!



How about these bad boys??? They were AWESOME to me! I begged for a TMNT birthday party when I was like 4 or 5! So, Barbie loved them as much as she did Ken!!!!

 

Ohhhhhh the infamous gigapet (some of you may have had a Tamagotchi) This is the exact one I had!!! I loved getting to take care of Salem! And sometimes having to push the reset button on the back when I killed him! oops! I remember having it taken away all the time in school! I loved this thing! It's selling on Amazon for $149 right now!


Or how about Littlest Pet Shop, Puppy Surprise (Where the baby's where in the mommy's tummy and you didn't know how many you had until you took it out of the box), My Little Pony, Popples, Care Bears, Ty Beanie Babies???? I'm sure there are lots more!!!

My inspiration for this blog came from a fellow blogger, that I'm totally addicted to right now! It's been fun to have a flashback!!! Leave me some comments about your favorite toys of your childhood!

http://childrenofthenineties.blogspot.com/

 



Answers & Faith!

*****IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO MEDICAL STUFF, DON'T READ! LOL*****

For so long we have prayed for an answer! We have questioned God and asked him "If you loved us, then why are we being punished?". Well, after the Casting Crowns concert Jeremy & I were discussing the concert and our favorite songs and the amazing light technology. But what we finally discussed really and truly gave us both a peace. The song "Praise You in This Storm" literally brought us BOTH to tears! Not just a sniffle here and there. It broke us down. Neither one of us knew the other was crying. Somehow the message of the song told us no matter what it is that God has brought us to, we still have Him by our side! He has NEVER left us! We both said we felt at the end of the night such a peace that we finally said "Okay, God, whatever your will shall be, we will still praise you!" and what a peace that was. I know that having all our family and friends pray for us has really helped, too, as there is power in prayer! The Bible says that when two or more are gathered in his name, then His will, will be done! 


We have anxiously waited for this day to come and we have continue to pray for an answer from Him. We have felt so empty and lost and didn't know where else to turn - when all along we had Him by our side. He knew our exact thoughts and our exact feelings through this turmoil. Yet, He was still there. HE broke me and showed me that HE is there and HE will always be there! I am so glad that he did!


So, today, when I woke up, I felt NO anxiousness. No fear. No concern. Only HOPE! Only EXCITEMENT! Only JOY! And ONLY God can provide those! We drove to Lubbock with such light-hearts and we discussed what we thought was going to happen, but just let it go! We enjoyed ourselves! We arrived at University Medical Center (UMC) Medical Office Plaza (MOP) to fill out the rest of the paperwork and have our picture taken! Yay! We waited about 45 minutes for Dr. Phy to look over our charts and then SHE came and greeted us. All of my past bloodwork and fertility treatments were up to par. We were exactly where we needed to be! So, we decided the next step for us would be Intra-Uterine Insemination (IUI). She went over the entire course of a cycle and what was to be expected, the 3 different medications we'd be on (injectables! yuck!) and the cost! Which, praise JESUS, was a fraction of what most places charge! (She said she fought hard to lower the price because she felt it wasn't justifiable to charge for something that only costs a fraction of what they are charging! wow! Woman of faith, I tell ya!) Any-hoo! She decided to then do a pap-smear and an ultrasound - which I'd never had before! I was excited for this ultrasound! (The pap...well, not so much! lol) When she was doing the ultrasound, she discovered that I had a partial septate uterus.  (Which mine looks pretty much like this)

**HERE IS A 'NORMAL' UTERUS** (which I will have soon! Praise Jesus!)

What this means is basically this: While we are being formed in our mother's womb, us women have two uteruses to begin with. (DON'T ask me why! God makes us in HIS image! lol!) Well, enzymes are supposed to break down the wall that separates the two and then there will be only ONE uterus. Well, mine didn't work! Many of you ask how our previous dr didn't notice this during the laparoscopy back in March, it was simply because he couldn't tell. From the outside, my uterus looks normal and rounded (like this picture). He never needed to look INSIDE! (I tell Jeremy it's cause God wasn't ready for us to know this right then! He needed to work on our hearts some more!) Anyways, I will have to go back 5 days into my next cycle (wont go into details...) and have a special x-ray done to determine just how big it is. Sometimes they go all the way down to the cervix, but she didn't think mine did. Then, at the end of February or first of March, I will have another minor surgery - Hysteroscopy (Click here to see procedure, if you are curious!). With this procedure, they will then remove the septum (which is actually just fibrous material that has no blood supply and will never stretch and grow with the uterus during pregnancy), and my uterus will be the 'normal' upside down pear shape rather a heart! =) 

A septate uterus isn't a cause for infertility - actually, it just prevents the embryo to grow! Because when an egg is fertilized, it travels down the fallopian tube and will attach to the upper uterine wall. Well, with the septum in place, there is no blood supply for the embryo that is necessary to grow, and will result in miscarriage. If a woman does in fact become pregnant, the chances of having a late term (24-28 weeks) miscarriage is around 60%. And the rare mothers that make it to term will not be able to deliver their babies vaginally because the baby is unable to turn around like needed.

So, we are excited to know that GOD has given us an answer! After she left the room, and it was just Jeremy & I in there, I BAWLED! He kept telling me "We have an answer! We have an answer!" And I was upset, then I thought "NO! God gave you an answer! Praise HIM!" and boy did I! =) I am a little scared of the surgery, but not like last time. I'm more worried about being sick again like last time. And the downfall is I will have to be off 3 days, instead of one, but He is in ultimate control! =) HE is my healer! =) Bless each and everyone of you who really read all of this! As I know your prayers are working wonders in our life! Even if after all of this, HE still decides to not give us children, it's okay! Because without all of this, my strength and hope in Him would not be where it is today and I know it's only gonna grow! =)