This is it!

So, today we had our first initial IVF consult with Dr. Phy. I felt it was a pretty great appointment. She shared with us her deep concern of us not achieving pregnancy over the last several months since the surgery in March. She shared with us that there are only 2 other things that could possibly be "wrong" with us not getting pregnant. One is an issue with my fallopian tubes actually carrying the egg and eventually embryo to the uterus. The second being the sperm may not be able to penetrate an egg. Both of these are resolved with IVF. (Get to that in a second...)


She did offer another type of infertility treatment, however didn't suggest it for our specific needs. It would be a SUPER ovulation with IUI. I would be on multiply injections that would create, just as it's stated, a super ovulation. This is way too risky for me, because of my age and because I don't have any type of blockages. It could actually cause 4+ eggs to release and possibly be fertilized, which is a severe health risk for me and babies. Also, the risk of hyper-stimulation to my ovaries is at risk. It is best suited for those with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, basically, there are tons of little cysts that envelop the ovaries causing many many problems) and also for those women who have blockages. She also stated that before she would do such super ovulation, she wouldn't do it without doing a laparoscopy again to make sure that my endometriosis hasn't grown back very much. We know that it will, because there is no permanent cure for endometriosis, and I will eventually have to have a hysterectomy. Which I guess is the permanent cure. ANYWAYS....


So, after I completely shut down that idea, she praised me for it and then shared with me how she didn't really want us to do it either, she then went into the Mack-Daddy protocol a little. She just gave us an overview, as we will have to go back to her office on December 6th for a extreme in-depth consult and injection trainings, as there are TONS to do! :(( We feel that this is the road that we will embark on and it will start VERY soon! She didn't want us to do it during the holiday season, because of the extra stress Christmas can bring ("Good Stress" is still not good for an IVF cycle) and I will be done with my hellacious math class. Here's how it will break down in just a short summary, I will blog details after the 6th.


 In about 2 weeks, I will start taking birth control pills. I know this sounds kinda crazy and a bit of an oxymoron, but it's actually what makes good ovulation. The birth control shuts down my ovaries and puts them to sleep. About 2-3 weeks after, I will go in to her office to have a Sono Saline Hysterogram (click this linky to read a little more if you wanna) done. This will show her if I still have a "Beautiful Uterus". This actually will check my endometrium (lining) and will make sure there are no polyps and to make sure the arcuate that I still have from the septum removal isn't doing anything wonky. Basically, I still have a tiny dip at the top of my uterus that was not able to be removed because it is all muscle.


During that visit, she will also do a practice embryo transfer. This is to help her see where she needs to place the embryo's later. Then we just kinda wait the rest of that cycle out. The next cycle we will call when I start to have a baseline ultrasound done. This is to make 100% sure my ovaries are still asleep. I will then start taking FUN medications...Shots! On cycle day 4, I will then go in for a blood test and an ultrasound to check on my ovaries. On days 6, 8 and 10, I have to go for ultrasounds to check on the growing follicles. Around day 10-12, I will take my "trigger" shot and then 36 hours after than go in for my egg retrieval. I will be heavily sedated and if you wanna know how this process works, I won't post it all here, but you can click this linky HERE to get the gory details. After the retrieval, they will combine my eggs with J's swimmers in separate "petri dishes". Half of the eggs will be allowed to be fertilized naturally, where the swimmers are allowed to try to penetrate on their own. The other half will be fertilized using a really awesome method clld ICSI (Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection). This is basically where the embryologists selects the top-notch swimmers and will inject one in each egg.


24 hours later, they will check to see how many of the eggs were fertilized. 75% is average. At this time, the ones that did take, now have 2 nuclei. This will begin the rapid division that you all learned about during biology! When the embryo(s) have reached the blastocyst stage, 5 days later, it is time for the embryo(s) transfer. We will then go back into Dr. Phy's office and  they will have the embryo(s) loaded up in a little catheter. Depending on the grade (A being best), I will only have 1-2 embryo's transferred.


 This will all be just like the IUI's we have done previously. 2 days later,  I will be back on progesterone. I will have a Beta (quantitative) blood pregnancy test done about 14 days later. If I am not pregnant, I will stop taking the progesterone. If I am, then I will continue until 12 weeks.


We are sooo sooo sooo excited, a little nervous, of course, but sooo soo soo excited! Dr Phy's success rate is 70% with IVF and she is sooo confident that this will work for us. Of course, there are NO guarantees. Just our faith in God during this time! The biggest concern that we both had was what does she do with the remaining embryos. When I shared with her our concern, she gave us 4 options.

1. If they are of grade A quality (cream of the crop, best of the best) we will be eligible to freeze them. They will be indefinitely "good" and won't "expire". This is excellent in case this doesn't work, we don't have to have another egg harvest that cycle. Also, this will save us from future egg harvesting if/when we go for another kiddos.
2. We can donate them to a center for couples to adopt. At this point, this is one of the least options we feel comfortable with. I know that it would be a blessing for another couple, however, we just both don't like the idea of it. God can change our mind at anytime, and I have to be okay with that!
3. We can "discard" them. This is the ABSOLUTE last thing we will do. This was the deal breaker with the IVF. If there was no other option, we would not be doing this procedure at all.
4. Finally, we can donate to science. How is this different from discarding them, because they will no longer be alive? Well, we honestly felt peace from God at the same time about this option. Knowing that our embryos could help scientists discover something to help future IVF'ers, is just what we want. I don't want them being tossed out in vain. 

We have decided that cryopreservation (freezing) is our #1 goal, then donation to science. 

So, friends and family, if you made it to the very bottom of this without going cross-eyed, I thank you oh so very much! You rock! =D Please please please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and just keep every toe and finger crossed for a successful cycle. 

New book to read....

So, I've been searching for a book on In-Vitro that will tell me all the details of this process. I'm VERY VERY VERY familiar with pretty much everything Infertility related, except In-Vitro. I guess 'cause I never expected us to be going down this road. So, now it's time to edu-ma-cate myself! I actually really enjoy learning about all things Infertility related. New techniques, drugs, statistics...It's like crack to my soul!

So, anyways! As I was searching all over the place for something that wasn't too dry, and actually may or may not have pictures in it (yup. I'm still 5 inside!), I came across this book and downloaded it to my Nook. I really love that thing! Have I ever mentioned that before? That's another blog post.

Well, I haven't started it yet....But, I'm really excited to learn some. Hopefully. The front says: "Everything you need to know to maximize your chances of success." I know there isn't a magic potion buried in there, and FULLY still rely on my Faith in God that this is where we should go. I'm not looking for a miracle drug or whatever, just some knowledge! =) I know that my God is the only one who will maximize my chance for success, if it's His will. 

Oh! We have our IVF workup consult scheduled with Dr Phy on Monday! Cannot cannot cannot wait to see how she does things, and SOOOOO not looking forward to that price tag. My father in law says "It's still not the biggest sacrifice that you will ever do for your child..." I don't get that. At all. But he says when you have kids, you will understand. I'm thinking...Geeze...I think I've made a crap-load of sacrifices already just to get him/her (or hims and hers! *yes those are words, to me!*) here, so I cannot imagine what else is in store. Perhaps another piece of God's plan?!? Me thinks so!

Well, I think I've kinda rambled a little much tonight! Off to read! Wish us luck and pray pray pray! =)

The "Big Talk"....

Well, we have decided to seek a consult with Dr. Phy regarding starting In-Vitro. We want to know all of the details of this plan and we have a few questions and concerns regarding this process that we need answered before we decide to go forward with IVF...This is really scary and a BIG decision for us. It is also a very very very expensive decision for us. I know that God will provide everything we need, just as he has all this time, but we still do not want to travel this road unless it is his will. I am waiting for Katy (Dr Phy's nurse) to call me back and let me know when we can come in. I am excited to move forward. I really don't want to try IUI's anymore and honestly feel I am ready to move on to the "bad boy" of infertility. So, pray for us to have guidance during this time and to make this decision in faith and obedience to God! Thank you all for everything!

Praising God through trials

This is the day that the Lord has made;

Let us REJOICE and be glad in it!

Psalm 118:24

If our God created this day, and everything that He creates is perfect, then how can I not rejoice and be glad for this day? Sure, we didn't get the results that WE wanted. But then again, it's not HIS plan for us! Sure, my due date would have been on my mom's birthday and it would have been so perfect. I had it all planned out how we would tell her. But, that was MY plan.

It's amazing how much better God's plans are for us. We don't know exactly what they are all the time, but just having faith in his promises and His amazing love is so much more than I can ever ask for. He offers the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7) and that is so calming to my heart.

I am a little saddened that this IUI didn't work, but I know we will be okay. The fact that He has a better purpose for me is what keeps me going. I'm not saying I'm not gonna have another bad day, cause I am human after all, but today I have chose to be joyful and REJOICE that He has given me another day to be alive and I need to live this day serving and praising Him and sharing His love. We aren't promised tomorrow, and so many times we get caught up in the thought of "next time..." that sometimes it doesn't come. 

Thank you all for those that offered apologies. We are totaly fine with this and we are very content with where we are! =) Just keep us in your prayers! Ask the Lord to direct us where we need to go and to continue to give us peace and this joy that we have!

Today has been a great day at work. We had a fireman come in and talk to the kids about fire and then we went and explored his truck and listened to his sirens and horns. I have a blast with my babies big kiddos (NOT happy about this...) and they truly are the light of my life! I'm soo thankful for them and how they help to lift my spirits just by seeing their sweet faces! =)

Wait....wait...wait....

Well, we are 3 days away..........

Symptoms? Cramping and more cramping....Oh! and I wanna EAT!

I've been getting a few more the last couple of days. I think I have my mind on this cycle being over. Something is still saying "wait it out!!!" I haven't really had the urge to test...I would have already taken a test in the last 3 days...Maybe it's the consistent "Not Pregnant" I've received this entire time..But, I want to wait until Friday morning if nothing has shown. This is so weird of me. I'm not patient.

So ready to know and for this part to be over. This is the longest, hardest part of it all. The meds and all that, I can tolerate. The wait pretty much sucks. Did I mention that I'm not patient?

My co-teacher was talking to me about asking God for a "Fleece". I had NEVER heard of such a thing in my life and I was inspired! In the Bible there is a story of a man who was pretty sure of God's plan for him, but He asked God to show him a sign. He laid out a  fleece from a sheep/lamb in the grass and told God if it was His plan to make the grass wet, but keep the fleece dry. The next morning he awoke, and it was just as he had asked. He asked him to do it one more time, except making the fleece wet and the grass dry. The next morning, it was how he had asked God. So many times we pray for His guidance and when He gives us a plan, it's still kind of hard for us to decipher whether or not it is His plan in fact and we need Him to show us a little more to make it clear. It is sooo important to continue to have Faith and believe that His will is what is best for us. So, I have asked God for some sign. Any sign. To make sure we are still on the right path. I don't want to take a path that isn't guided by Him. I get myself into wayyyyyy too much trouble on my own!!! Well, that's all for tonight! Hopefully Friday I will have great news for you all, but if not, please keep praying!