ONE WEEK!!!!!!!!!

Until we meet our Reproductive Endocrinologist, Dr. Jennifer Phy! I am so excited and really not even scared AT ALL (which is very much not like me!!)! I cannot wait to go meet her and see what she has to say about moving forward! I am excited for a new plan towards our ultimate goal: to be parents! I pray that we will finally see the positve pregnancy test and watch our lives change as we welcome a new child into the world. I have been feeling a small tug on my heart regarding adoption as well. I'm not sure if it is because I'm starting to feel that it's nearing the end for us, or what. I never really had a strong desire to adopt, I just always felt that I would have children of my own. I guess I thought that you can't buy love and happiness. But I do know that is not true. Or maybe it was that our families wouldn't see the baby as our own child it be labeled as a outcast, a misfit. I sometimes feel that if we were to adopt that our family wouldn't have enough love for him or her as they would a biological child. I think I feel a bit of failure towards my husband and our parents if I can't carry or even give birth to a child of our own. I don't really know why I'm feeling these things, but I know that God is doing some work on my heart, and I'm all for it! I have pushed his requests away for some time, and I need to let him have the reigns! Adoption isn't about buying love or happiness. It's about nurturing the children of God - which we all are! We are called to care for the orphans and the widows! I really am excited to see where God is going to lead us in our future, and am really curious to see why the window of adoption


So, whether we will be able to have children of our own, which is a true blessing from our Heavenly Father, or wheteher He chooses us to nurture and raise a child from another womb, or even if the doors to parenthood are shut, I believe that I will be able to praise Him! I will praise HIM through the storm and He alone is worthy of all of my praise! I am not worthy of His gifts and I am truly thankful for those he has already lent me! =) Blessings to you all!

.:.:.Happy Thanksgiving!.:.:.

Since I probably won't have much time tomorrow, with the hustle and bustle of the day, I just wanted to tell each of you I hope you have a very fantastic Thanksgiving! God bless you and your families! I pray for safety for those who are traveling! Thank you for  those of you who are serving, have served or are families of those serving! You are in my prayers each day! =) 

Eat lots of turkey && have fun shopping Friday! =)

Christmas Ornaments

Hey Everyone! I just wanted to share a quick craft with you that I saw a similar tutorial for over on My Pink Stamper! I did it a little different and used some different products! I'm going to be putting these on a Christmas tree in my classroom! Hope you Enjoy!

Glittery Christmas Ornaments

 

For these super duper cute ornaments (or at Terrrget on SNL, eerrrnaments) you will need the following items:
Clear glass ornaments (Got mine at Hobby Lobby this weekend for half off! $3 for 12! Score!)
Pledge floor finish WITH Future. Around $6 at Super Wal Mart.
Super duper fine glitter. I got this last year @ Wal Mart after Christmas fro around $1
A handy dandy paper funnel (for the glitter mess...err...I mean fun)
And a makeshift eeerrrnament holder, a roll of Scotch tape!  

For the first step, you will remove the little metal top off of the ornament (sorry no pic!)
Then you will add quite a bit of Pledge floor finish to the ornament. It's kinda hard to tell but there is almost an inch in the ornament. SWIRL it around in the ornament.
*DO NOT shake! You will get bubbles!!!*

Next, dump the excess floor finish back in the bottle, rotating as you dump so you can get it in the neck of the ornament. If you want to do what I did, pour it in a second or even third ornament. 

Then you will insert your funnel (homemade or whatever you have at home) in the ornament and dump in a generous amount of glitter. It doesn't use much, but I wanna make sure it is coated well!

Once again, ROLL the glitter through the ornament. I then shake it very easy to get the neck of the ornament.

Then, dump the remaining glitter back into the jar. 

Viola! A yummy and EASY ornament for your tree!

Aren't they pretty?

Well, I wasn't quite done! I used my Cricut Expression and my Gypsy (not pictured for some reason...) and cut out the kiddo's names out of white vinyl.

Cute?

With the transfer paper over the vinyl cut name, ready to adhere!

Ta da! I did do the other kiddo's but haven't gotten a pic yet! I'm adding the tulle bows to the top of all of these! Can't wait to get them put on the tree in the room!

Hannah's Hope

A couple of years ago, a friend in church came to me with a burden on her heart. God asked her to share the story of Hannah from the book of Samuel. You see, Hannah married a prestigious man. She just KNEW she would be able to make him proud and be the mother of his children. She dreamed of the day that she would be a mom. She dreamed for months, and even years.  Every year, people walked from alllllll over to pray at the tabernacle in Shiloh. And every year, Hannah prayed to God that he would bless her with a child. Hannah prayed a special prayer one year, and told God that if he gave her a child, she will give him back to Him. She began to weep and was extremely distraught. A priest saw Hannah and immediately thought she was drunk. He began to ask her what was wrong and she explained how she was pouring out her heart to God. He then got down on his knees with her and prayed with her. Soon, Hannah is blessed with a baby! Hannah then went on to have 3 more sons and 2 daughters.


Oh how I can relate to Hannah. I know what it must have been like for her to see many young women, and even younger than her become pregnant. I know what it is like to look at the women who are already having their second and even third baby. I know what it is like to see loved ones receive this beautiful gift! However, I love how God used this woman at church to teach me the story of Hannah. I love how I can sit and think "I'm not the only one who had this longing." Hannah didn't stop praying when she didn't get pregnant immediately. I can't say that about myself. I have given up before and you just can't give up on God! I would LOVE to sit down with her and talk to her about her faith. She had an amazing faith! I am thankful that God has given me Hannah to have for encouragement in hard times. 


A couple of months ago, I was researching infertility stuff, IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) and IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization) - which is where we are heading....And came across a website called Hannah's Prayer Ministries. The name "Hannah" stood out to me and I just KNEW before I clicked on it that it was about Hannah in the Bible! The host of the website, Jennifer Saake, has shared her trials and triumph with infertility and also used Hannah for inspiration. I then noticed that she wrote a book - Hannah's Hope! WOW! cha-ching! I have sooooooooo many books on all the facts and statistics of infertility from the average failure rate to the cost of all of the procedures. But I didn't have a book on HOPE! I didn't have a book with Bible-based answers (really??? I know!) I have just started reading it, and it is such an easy read, but it is so amazing to have allllll of these scriptures flowing out to show me how God is in ultimate control and that just like Hannah, he will too bless me! =) It is amazing to see how God is working in my life! I feel so new and so alive! I still don't know what he wants to do with my life, but my heart desires to be a mommy and if that is what He wants for me, then I will faithfully serve Him! 


I cannot begin to tell you how beautiful my prayers are to Him. I don't beg him like before. I don't blame Him like before. I don't curse him like before. Instead, I thank Him. I thank Him for his Son. I thank Him for giving me HOPE! Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord "Plans to prosper you and give you HOPE and a future, not to harm you". God didn't give me those fears before! Satan, the KING of hurt and pain did! And guess what! I'm SOOOO done with that! My God is an awesome God and He loves ME! =)


People ask me ALLLLLL the time, how are you stable? I don't know how you can go 4 years! Why haven't you adopted yet? How can you keep praising Jesus! If he loved you, he would give you a baby! I just really laugh and say "Yes, He does love me! But he doesn't OWE me anything! I desire a baby, He knows that desire. Whether it is in His plan or not is up to Him and I still will continue to praise Him whether he blesses us with a child or not! A relationship with Jesus isn't based on a reward system! We were already rewarded with the ultimate gift - the life and death of Jesus so that we CAN and WILL live eternally with Him in Heaven someday!" Bless you all!!!

{The story of Hannah can be found in 1 Samuel 1}

Let Go & Let God

I have heard this saying for quite some time now and have pretty much just realized the true meaning! I have been having a hard time letting go of the things we are unable to change here lately - more specifically: our infertility. I am a planner and I like things to fall in an orderly pattern. 


We always said we'd  wait about 5 years before starting a family, well we only made it one! Now, it's been four years with no pregnancies at all, and it has taken a toll on me physically, mentally & spiritually. I have been on fertility drugs, tracked my temperature every morning, counted cycle days, numerous amounts of blood drawn, a minor surgery to find out that I don't have any endometrial or blockage issues. That all is contained under the physical drainage. Mentally, I have myself convinced that I will be barren and will never have children. Spiritually, Satan has been doing his thing on me & it's time to let that go! I had myself convinced that I'm being punished for my past or actually the lack of Christian I should be. Because we haven't been going to church lately, I felt that he is punishing me more. I have now realized that God is not a creator of punishment! He created love! I know that my God loves me and is not causing me pain!  I know what all my God promises me and I pray to Him with all of my heart. I tell Him he knows the desires of my heart and he knows my hopes and dreams. I also tell Him that I trust Him to guide me in the way that I should go. 


Many people tell me "Just stop trying....Stop thinking about it....If it's meant to happen, it will..." Well, those are the people that NEVER had to wait 4+ years to get pregnant! I am actually very happy for those that don't have to go through this heartbreak! It is excruciating and is really hard on a marriage! I thank my God that He is the head of our household, because without Him, we probably wouldn't be making it through this! He has helped my husband and I become a stronger couple by us going through this. At times, I am frustrated with J because he IS man, and that is how God intended him to be, and he really just doesn't get it! Ladies - - men DON'T understand the emotional side of us! Nor will they ever! I had a breakdown Friday night on our way home from our best friend's house. I am not an ounce jealous that she is having her first within the next week! I am so excited for miss R to be here, but I do get jealous of the fact that I can't feel what she is feeling! I don't care how sick I will be, how tired I will be or whatever. I just want it!


 Now, does God always give us what we want? No. Which realllllyyyy sucks sometimes! But this is where faith comes in! Hebrews 11:1 says this : "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen." How beautiful is this? This is the best definition I have ever heard on the word faith. You cannot see faith! You have to KNOW He will do His job! And last I checked, God doesn't make mistakes! He isn't a slacker! He doesn't say "oops! Just kidding! I didn't mean to do that!" He will do exactly what He promises! I LOVE that guarantee! I love the trust I can have in Him, and Him alone! 


I haven't fully 100% let go of my obsession with infertility, but let me tell you, he is working wonders on me! Baby steps! Any-who! I came home that night and J was trying to talk to me and I just asked him to let me have about 20 minutes alone. I just needed to talk to God. I don't know if that upset him because he, being the man he is, wants to be the one to dry my tears and fix my broken heart. At this  time, only God could have. I immediately grabbed my BlackBerry & went to YouTube and started searching music. I listened to  4 songs, cried really good, and I know the 4 songs that God gave me were there to help me heal just a bit more. What is REALLY weird, and a total act of God is that I cannot, for the life of me, think of ONE of those songs! I praise Him for speaking to me that night! I know he isn't done with me yet and I am really curious to see where He is gonna take us! I know someday that I will be a mother, whether that means having a biological child of our own or adopting. But only God can lead us there! So, please friends and family, continue to pray much for us that God will do His will and that we will see His true blessings! 


Here are a couple of songs that I'm loving at the moment, please take the time to listen to the words, you might relate to them also! =) 

Brandon Heath - Wait and See
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJwlmb4V-0Y

Casting Crowns - Praise You in this Storm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUWbmtbzDno

Kutless - What Faith Can Do
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVM85dl-61E

and last, Kutless - It Is Well
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGHZySOi7sY

Many blessings to you!

Chris Tomlin - How Can I Keep From Singing

Lifesong - Casting Crowns

GOAL #1 ACHEIVED!!!

I *LOVE* my new iMac!!!! PLEASE don't judge the messy scraproom! It means progress, right?

TEN WHOPPING POUNDS GONE!

I have NEVER EVER EVER been real great at meeting my goals! I usually become bored with things very fast and find something new to fill any possible void! So, by meeting a  VERY small goal, 5%, which was 10 pounds, I have a whole new perspective! I CAN do it! Haha! I'm not a very big motivator for myself, I rely on others and the word of God to see me through things! I have always had low self esteem, therefore I'm not good at telling myself "GOOD JOB"! So, tonight was great at Weight Watchers! I'm loving this program! It is amazing to go every week and see this group of women who are all struggling with the same things I'm struggling with! I LOVE LOVE LOVE to eat! (Evidentially, or I wouldn't be in the shape I am, right? lol!) Any-who, being able to learn how to redo menus and find substitutes! I am very thankful for my support system and MY GOD who has helped me succeed! I do have TONS more to lose, but a little success at a time will help me lead to a HUGE celebration! And who knows what I will do to celebrate! 


Every week I text my husband to share my success and today he melted me heart! He's sometimes VERY ornery (takes after his daddy!) and sometimes he isn't real suave with his words, but tonight he was super sweet! I told him how much I'd lost and that I received another 5 pound star and that I also received my 5% star! And he said "Baby, I'm so proud of you!" Awwwwww! lol! I'm a mushy girl! 


Well, in closing, I just wanted to share some pictures with you! Hope you all have a blessed night!!!

Remember the almost 20 pound cat I mentioned yesterday? Meet Rex!

I found this on another blog and LOVED it! It's so cute!

What is 10 pounds?

Well, I have officially lost a whopping TEN POUNDS!! This is no small sucess for me! It's HUGE! I wont even begin to tell you how much I weighed and how much I weigh now, cause I'm NOWHERE close to where I want or even need to be! But I am so excited! I know I can keep going & I will! All because of the Lord above!

In Philippians 4:13 it is said, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  And let me tell you, I have needed this strength each and every day! Now, I can't say I have succeeded each day with my eating habits, but they are getting much better! It is a daily walk, just as it is with Christ! I will fail, but I have to remember that the next meal time is a time to make up for my mistake! I've learned to not punish myself and quit but rather not reward myself at the end of the day when I cheat! I LOVE ice cream and brownies, so I have found some great alternatives that I will post later! I just wanted to share my success with you all right now and will be back soon to blog more! =)

What exactly does 10 pounds look like, though??

2 -5 pounds bags of sugar or flour

11 pounds is an average house cat (have you seen Rex?? Try close to 20 with that furry man!)

2-Chihuahuas (this was funny to me!)

Think about that hamburger meat you buy at the store....EWWW! 

Well, I'm actually really glad that those 10 pounds are gone! Don't want that back! I feel great and I feel so positive about going on and losing this weight!! =) 

Blessings to you!